No woman wants to find out that her husband is cheating on her. It’s every woman’s worst nightmare. So, even if you suspect it, you don’t want to find out if it’s true or not. It’s so painful to experience cheating.
It’s always best to cultivate love, trust and positive vibes in your marriage, but it’s also important not to be naïve. And because you deserve the very best in your marriage, it’s important to be aware of these 23 signs of cheating.
What is Cheating?
Now, that probably looks like an obvious question, but most people think cheating only includes sexual activity. But according to social worker, Robert Weiss, infidelity is “the keeping of secrets in an intimate relationship.” It’s true that unfaithful spouses tend to hide sexual infidelity, but this isn’t the only thing partners can cover up.
Don’t feel paranoid, or think that you need to second guess everything your spouse does. But a little information now can help you (or even your best friend) in the future, because as Weiss further explains, it’s the “ongoing pattern of secrets and lies that causes a loving partner the most pain.”
23 Signs He is Cheating On You
It’s important to realize that some of these signs are obvious indications of cheating, and you don’t need further evidence. But other signs are more ambiguous, and they’re not enough to prove that there’s infidelity. If they’re combined with other suspicious behavior, there could be an issue.
- We live in a very cellphone oriented culture. Most of us always have our phones at hand. But some cell phone behavior can be a red flag. For example, does he save nameless numbers in his contacts?
- Do you notice signs of another woman? Do you catch a different fragrance on his skin and clothes? The same goes for makeup markings, or any signs that he’s been intimate with someone else
- Does his battery “die” more than it probably should? And even though he’s constantly on his phone, does he never get around to answering your messages?
- Is he an insecure person? If so, even if you’re a great partner, he might try to satisfy his insecurity with another woman’s attention and praise.
- It’s great to be empathetic, but if it seems like he’s overly interested in another woman’s problems, and seems ready and willing to help her out, this could be a red flag.
- Does he always take his phone with him to the bathroom?
- What is your gut telling you? Your intuition is pretty objective and will give you a nudge when it’s aware of something. If you have a gut feeling, you can at least look into it to see whether there’s anything going on or not.
- Has he stopped staying “I love you”, and does he seem emotionally withdrawn? Even if you’re in the same room, does it seem like you’re not even together because he simply doesn’t notice you anymore.
- Does he overreact if you pick up his phone, or ask him if you can use it for anything?
- Has he started working very late hours? Or does something always “come up” with family, friends, or work?
- Criticizing a specific woman can be his way of deflecting his real feelings for her.
- What do your family and friends say? They may observe behaviors that you haven’t noticed yet.
- Does he turn notifications off on his phone, or just keep it on airplane mode? He might do this so you don’t see incoming messages.
- Men will try to keep both women happy, but problems in his affair may leak into your marriage and you may notice moodiness or distant behavior.
- Is he no longer affectionate or intimate? Or if he is, does he seem off in another world when you’re having sex?
- When you ask him about your suspicions, does he attack, and accuse you of being crazy and possessive? This can make you feel guilty for suspecting anything in the first place. And you’ll actually feel crazy!
- Has he stopped paying attention to you, your life together, and your children?
- On the other hand, an unfaithful spouse may become very attentive and generous, and buy you special gifts and take you out. Why? Because when he’s in an affair he feels both excited and guilty, and both of these emotions prompt him to do these “loving” things.
- Have you noticed that his spending has increased, but you haven’t seen anything new and different?
- If someone feels guilty about cheating, they may actually accuse you of doing it. His insecurity is what prompts this sort of behavior.
- Is he hard to pin down? Now, no man likes anyone lurking over his shoulder. But if he won’t let you meet him out, or if he’s vague about his whereabouts, that can be a warning sign that he’s hiding something (or someone) from you.
- Is his newsfeed full of sexy, alluring women on social media? This alone isn’t cheating, but combined with other signs, this could indicate a potential issue.
- Finally, even if it’s hard to admit, is your husband a selfish person? He may have many other wonderful qualities, but selfishness can justify his negative behavior, while ignoring the feelings of others. What’s more, a selfish decision to cheat ignores a special contract that you both made together. If selfishness is a common thread throughout his decision-making processes, this could help you understand if your husband is cheating on you.
As a wife, you know your husband really well – better than most people! You know his characteristics, habits and quirks.
So, it’s important to take all of that into consideration when reading through these 23 signs.
If you suspect him of cheating, paranoia isn’t a helpful feeling. But if your gut is telling you something’s wrong, it’s worth looking into. Your marriage is worth a lot of love and respect, and these tips can help you keep it that way.