Self-Pleasure: Is It Normal in a Healthy Romantic Relationship? may earn commission when you buy something through the links or banners on this page.

Many people view self-pleasure as shameful, a way of cheating on a partner, or a less-important sexual act than actual coitus. There are several myths surrounding self-pleasure. The most common is that people in healthy relationships should not engage in it.

Stay close to learn how self-pleasure can spice things up in a healthy romantic relationship.

What is self-pleasure?

Self-pleasure, or masturbation, refers to self-stimulation of the genitals, most often to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be done either by hands or by toys. Masturbation is normal for everyone, whether a man or woman, young or old, single or in a romantic relationship. People engage in self-pleasure for various reasons.

Some do so to explore their bodies, get the benefits, pleasure themselves sexually, or attain orgasm.

Although many people consider self-pleasure as something nasty, it has many benefits, like:

  • Improving mental health
  • Boosting confidence
  • It lets people discover the best ways of reaching orgasm
  • Masturbation boosts libido
  • People can act on their fantasies when they masturbate
  • Achieving orgasms, especially when menstruating, can reduce irritability and discomfort.

Why self-pleasure is important in a romantic relationship

Your partner is not responsible for your orgasms

Being in a romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean they are responsible for all your sexual satisfaction. Although satisfying one another in bed is fantastic, an orgasmic gap exists. And depending on your partner to fulfill all your desires and fantasies is unfair.

Engaging in self-pleasure allows partners to know their most erogenous zones and the best way they can climax. This way, they can both enjoy their intimacy. So, don't take it the wrong way if your partner masturbates. So long as it doesn't interfere with your relationship, there is nothing wrong if they go solo and give themselves pleasure.

Great foreplay alternative

Having the same foreplay routine every day can be monotonous and boring. If this is your case, trying something new like self-pleasure can spice things up and break the boredom.

To give yourself pleasure, decide the best time and place to do so. A quiet room in the evenings can be an ideal spot. Remember to create a nice ambiance by lighting fragrant candles or spreading roses. After everything is ready, assemble your toys and have fun, and if you don't have one, you can buy your toys online or in local stores.

So, next time you're in the mood for some passionate moments, try self-pleasure as foreplay instead of the usual foreplay routine.

Vital self-care routine

Masturbation is a significant self-care routine with numerous physical and psychological benefits. When you reach orgasm, your body releases dopamine and oxytocin hormones.

These feel-good hormones reduce sexual tension and menstrual cramps, improves sleep, increase sexual satisfaction and self-esteem.

Perfect option when you're both “slorny”

“Slorny” refers to a state of being sleepy and horny. Imagine getting home a bit tipsy from a date or a party late at night, and you want to climax without all the work of oral or penetrative sex; mutual self-pleasure can be a perfect option here. That's so because it can be easier for you to quickly and lazily achieve orgasm than anybody else, leading to an orgasmic win-win for both partners.

You can try mutual masturbation anytime you're in the mood for fun but feeling tired or lazy. The sensation you'll get when lying down in mutual masturbation while kissing can be mind-blowing.

You'll give better directions during coitus

Touching yourself allows you to discover the best places and ways you'd like to be touched. It also lets you know which areas turn you on more than others. With this discovery, you can easily show your partner how to go down on you or touch you.

Increases self-esteem

When you're masturbating, you're feeling yourself in bed. This feeling can translate to feeling yourself as a whole, helping individuals with body image issues. Self-pleasure can also increase feelings of self-esteem in women.

It helps you connect with your fantasies

Masturbation allows people to find out their sexuality and fantasies. When you explore your body in self-pleasure, you can discover things you'd love to try with your partner.

This discovery can provide helpful information to your partner and allow room for new things and styles, making your sex-life great each day. Masturbation lets you fulfill whatever desire or fantasy you are craving with fewer distractions.

Although self-pleasure is okay in a relationship, it's crucial if there is some balance and your partner knows. Hiding things wouldn't do you justice. But discussing how you can embrace masturbation to improve your sex life may bring all the difference.

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