However it happened, and whenever it happened, you and your current partner found each other and formed a relationship together. It just happened and now it’s been a habit for both of you. And no matter how long you’ve been with him, if something doesn’t feel quite right, you should probably ask yourself why you’re with your partner.
Sometimes, we go through a rough patch in a relationship and that’s normal. But if you come out on the other side in love, there’s usually nothing to be concerned about. However, if you keep asking yourself certain questions or certain problems keep coming up, then you probably shouldn’t be together anymore.
What kind of questions and problems indicate that you’re together out of habit, rather than because of true compatibility? Let’s take a look.
How do we make this work?
Do you always feel like things aren’t quite right? Maybe you don’t enjoy his friends’ company. Maybe you don’t enjoy doing the same things. Maybe you have different values or disagree about important things. Whatever the issue at hand is if you’re often asking yourself, “How can I make this work?”, that’s a good sign that you need to walk away.
Relationships do take work, but it should leave you feeling fulfilled and content. If you’re constantly working to make it work, it’s like trying to fit mismatched puzzle pieces together. It’s frustrating and after all your pushing and shoving, they still don’t fit.
He embarrasses you
We all have our awkward moments and our social blunders, and sometimes we do have to take a deep breath and laugh about it when it’s all said and done. But if you’re feeling embarrassed about your boyfriend, and don’t want to be seen with him, it’s probably time to ask yourself why you’re still with him.
And if you think about it, you’d want the same thing for yourself. No one wants to be with a guy (or girl) who’s secretly embarrassed by what they say and do.
You’re not really interested in his best interests
If he’s irresponsible with finances, personal care or other things, do you try to keep him accountable? Or, do you turn a blind eye to it and just not engage with these things? If it’s the latter, it might be because you’re just not interested in his happiness and wellbeing.
The same goes for lighter things like social and leisure activities. If you really aren’t into the same things he is, you probably feel like you’re dragging your feet and grudging about it the whole time.
Maybe you’ve continued in this relationship because it’s comfortable and habitual, but it might not be very fun and happy.
You’re afraid that you’ll never find anyone else so you stay with him
Scarcity mindset drives people to cling to what they have – even if it doesn’t make them happy – because they’re afraid they’ll never find anything better. This goes for everything from clothing, careers, money and yes, even men.
You may be settling for less in your current relationship because you just can’t imagine there being another person for you. Maybe you believe this because you have a low opinion of yourself, fueled by insecurity, low self-esteem and your own set of blocks to overcome.
Whatever your reason is for settling in your current relationship, deciding to stay could be a decision made out of fear, instead of love. And wouldn’t you prefer to be with someone you’re crazily in love with, instead of staying because you’re afraid to be left behind and alone?
You’re afraid that you’ll never find better sex
This fear is also based on a scarcity mindset – one that says that you have to hold onto what you have because there’s nothing left out there for you. But if you look at your life logically, you’ll see that this fear doesn’t really make much sense.
If you keep yourself in your current relationship, of course, you don’t open a space for someone else, and you won’t find a better sexual partner.
But if you’re not content and deeply at peace with your current relationship, and you take steps to free yourselves of each other, you can and will create opportunities for wonderful romantic relationships.
In short, powerful, sexual intimacy is available to you if you believe that you’re worthy of having it. But if you stay in a so-so relationship out of fear that you’ll never find better sex, you’ll probably never find it.
You don’t know if it’s the right relationship…
…and if that’s the case, it’s probably the wrong relationship.
If you were truly happy in your relationship, you probably wouldn’t have gnawing doubts or concerns that something’s wrong. But if you do question it regularly, this could be a very clear sign that your relationship has run its course, and it’s okay to end it.
Sometimes, we don’t know why it’s not working, or why things just aren’t clicking. On paper, it can seem fine. And to your friends and family, your relationship seems pretty standard. But only you know, deep in your heart, that the relationship you’re in is the right or wrong one.
What to do if you’re not sure if you should stay together with your boyfriend
Coming to terms with your relationship and possibly ending it can be emotionally difficult. And it’s important to make any and all decisions from a centered and grounded place. So, before you call it quits, take time to create a calm mindset. You can do this by:
- Journaling, and not holding anything back or censoring your thoughts
- Practicing yoga
- Speaking to a close friend and confident. Sometimes, opening up about a deeply personal issue can help you see things for what they really are. Talking about it can help you see yourself (and your relationship) in a new light.
Who knows what it was that sparked the first flame between you and your current partner. But only you know if it’s still right or not. Trust your gut and what’s more, don’t be afraid to listen to it – it’s got your back, or more appropriately, your heart.