Even though cheating is very painful, men don’t necessarily cheat to hurt you.
Sometimes, men cheat to escape a painful situation themselves. He might cheat to find fulfillment if he’s not getting any. Other times, men cheat because their sexual and emotional needs aren’t being met.
It’s easy to see cheating as his fault, but did you ever ask yourself if the reason why your husband cheats is because of your actions?
Let’s look at nine reasons why your behavior can pave the way for his cheating.
You Lost Yourself
In trying to make the marriage work, women can easily lose their identity.
And in trying to do and be everything for your spouse, you might have lost yourself along the way. Instead of being you, you’ve become a doormat or a pushover, and neither of these are very desirable or attractive to men.
He Isn’t Your Hero
Men like to be your hero. They like to save the day and solve problems. In short, they like to be needed.
What’s more, they need you to acknowledge their actions and appreciate everything they do. If you don’t make your husband feel respected and loved, he might go looking for this praise and attention elsewhere.
Do you tell him you love and miss him? Do you hug him and touch him?
You Quit Self-Care
When you first started dating, and even early in your marriage, you probably took time to groom yourself, dress well and exercise. No one can argue that married life can be full of many distractions, from jobs to kids to in-laws.
But have you neglected yourself in the process?
Who you are is important. If you stopped caring about your beauty and style, you might not look as attractive to him as you once did. And men aren’t just interested in outer beauty. They want a partner who can challenge them.
Have you gotten apathetic or lazy intellectually?
You Don’t Embrace Sexy
Your sexual relationship is something special for just the two of you.
Guys love when you want to have sex because it helps them feel wanted and loved. Have you stopped initiating sex? Have you stopped putting in efforts?
What about when you’re actually having sex?
Have you settled into a routine that no longer surprises or fulfills him? As your marriage grows, you can also grow sexually, and make each intimate connection more and more special if you want to.
But if you’re no longer into sex, he could get bored and look for satisfaction with someone else.
You Control Him
Guys like to know that they’re important to you, but that doesn’t mean they like being controlled. Showing them that they’re important to you is loving. But controlling them stems from fear.
When you love someone, you trust them and give them freedom. That means letting him enjoy a night out with friends or a weekend excursion with his buddies.
But if he feels like you’re constantly on his back, he’ll hate it and react negatively.
You Don’t Love Him Well Enough
No wife would ever want to admit that she doesn’t love her husband enough. After all, you’re busy! You have the kids to look after, meals to prepare, a house to clean, and a job to keep. But your husband needs and wants your love.
It might be hard to give love to your husband when you feel exhausted and worn out. And it’s true that all of your commitments are important and don’t magically disappear. So, make an effort to get help and support where it’s needed.
Can your parents or siblings help you by watching your kids once or twice a week? Can you create meal plans, so that you have structure and easy leftovers? Can you hire a housecleaner?
Every woman’s situation is different, but one thing is universal: you’re expected to do a lot and to do it well. But there’s nothing wrong with getting help along the way!
You Don’t Listen to Him
Men may not always be experts in expressing themselves emotionally, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t conveying something to you. Are you listening? Maybe he’s not saying anything explicitly, but what are his actions saying?
It can be hard to pick up on what he’s communicating if you’re too self-involved and self-absorbed. Yes, we all have so much on our minds, and the world is full of distractions. But are you paying attention to him, or is he slipping by the wayside? If you’re not able to listen to him, he’ll look for someone who will.
You Blame and Nag
A good relationship requires honest, open communication, as well as accountability.
So, it’s important to express your needs and any disappointments you might have with your husband. But this can either come across as constructive criticism or as an attack.
How do you communicate with him? Are your conversations filled with blame, resentment, frustration, and nagging?
Or, do you first acknowledge the good he’s done, and then, let him know what he can do to rock your world?
Is He Your Priority?
This last point sums up all the others.
Yes, we’re all busy.
Yes, we’re all faced with stressful situations at times.
Yes, children take up a lot of our energy (and rightfully so!).
But you only have one husband. Is he a priority in your life?
Perhaps the more important question to ask is this: Does he feel like he’s your priority?
You’re busy trying to meet the needs of both of your lives, but if he doesn’t feel important to you.
Guess what? He’s not!
So, try to find ways to show him that he is special to you. Surprise him with a nice date, or tickets to his favorite game. In short, don’t lose him in life’s hectic shuffle.
A cheating husband might cheat because he sees your relationship as unfulfilling and lacking. It might be worth asking yourself if you’ve had any part in that.
And more importantly, what you can do to fix it because you can!