Toxic people are tricky. That’s because they can be so bad for you, but they look so good. And one reason why toxic people are so hard to identify is that they’re very good manipulators.
But life is short. So, why should you waste your time on people who bring you down and drain all the life out of you? You shouldn’t!
Before you get too close to someone new, use these tips to tell when he or she is actually a toxic person.
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What is a toxic person?
Toxic people come in all shades and colors. So, it’s hard to come up with one, concise definition.
Unfortunately, toxic people show up everywhere in life, too – in your family, at your job, in line at the grocery store. Basically, toxic people show up anywhere and everywhere.
And while toxic people can share certain behaviors (we’ll get to that next), there’s one telltale sign that you’re dealing with a toxic person. And it has to do with how they make you feel.
How do toxic people make you feel?
This one question might be the single best way to figure out if someone is toxic or not. That’s because it doesn’t necessarily matter what they do. Instead, what matters is how they make you feel.
And more often than not, spending any amount of time with a toxic person can make you feel drained, exhausted, unimportant, ignored, judged, disrespected, defeated, negative, frustrated, confused, crazy, and distrustful.
Yikes! Why would anyone want to spend time with someone who makes you feel this way?
What’s even more puzzling is how toxic people manage to make the rest of us feel so bad. But it’s actually not that puzzling once you know the signs of a toxic person. These 10 signs are how most toxic behave.
And consider yourself warned: it’s not pretty!
10 signs of a toxic person
You constantly need to vent about them
Toxic people always make you feel upset. And so after you spend any amount of time with them, you feel a great need to detox, to decompress and to dump. So, you end up having one big vent session about them.
The only trouble is, these vent sessions become a regular thing. So, not only do toxic people drain you when you’re with them, but they also drain you when they’re not even around.
They are selfish
When it comes to toxic people, it’s always about them, and rarely about you. So, they don’t usually take into consideration what’s best, convenient or right for you.
Instead, they are always thinking about themselves and their needs.
They’re always right
Not only are toxic people always right, but to make sure they’re always right, toxic people lie, exaggerate and go to extremes. In short, getting into an argument with a toxic person rarely goes well.
And it usually comes with a fight, so be prepared.
They’re always the victim
Toxic people are always right, yet ironically, they’re always the victims when misfortune comes alone. Bad things always happen to them, and it’s never their fault.
They don’t take responsibility for their life situation, nor are they ever really responsible for what happens in their life.
Strangely, they hate being the victim, but they also love it, too.
And this is clear because whenever they’re given the option to improve their situation, they always prefer to complain and keep the status quo – however miserable it is.
They love their negative drama
One major reason why toxic people are also victims in their lives is that negativity is their chief focus. It’s like the food they live off of.
Unfortunately, even if they’re unhappy with all this negativity, they still seek it and thrive on it. This negativity could come from the daily news, family drama, a stranger’s misfortune, reality TV, illness, or relationship issues.
They’re deceptive and sneaky
Do you ever feel like you’re actually going crazy around someone? That’s because toxic people are master manipulators. And they can make straightforward, logical things seem convoluted, confusing and unstable.
It’s unnerving and maddening, and a sure sign you’re dealing with a toxic person.
They gossip about others
We all take part in gossip from time to time. Some might even argue that it’s healthy and normal. After all, you can’t like everyone all the time, and sometimes, it feels necessary to talk it out with another person.
But the purpose of this type of gossip is to figure out how to better handle a situation, to create a solution, or to gain a better understanding of someone and their behavior.
But with toxic people, they don’t just gossip about people. They tear people down. And what makes it worse is they don’t discriminate. No one is safe from them, and they rarely have anything good to say about anyone, even their “friends.”
They hold onto negative emotions
By now it’s clear that toxic people like negativity and that they thrive on drama. So, it should come as no surprise that they also hold on to negative emotions, like anger, resentment, and blame.
So, they have a hard time forgiving people and letting things go. They have a hard time moving on from past hurts, and they will use them as an excuse for their own bad behavior.
They love a lot of attention
Toxic people might seem secure and confident, but the truth is, they’re incredibly thin-skinned and very insecure. So, the more attention they get, the better.
They have to be at the center of attention, and if they’re not, watch out! They interrupt, and they’re not afraid to showcase how much they know. On top of this, they’re competitive and definitely not team players.
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They talk themselves up
One thing toxic people like to do is talk about themselves and all of their amazing qualities. But this isn’t how most people get to know most other people.
Instead, we spend time with others and observe them. Then, we come up with our own assessment of them. But that’s not how it works with toxic people.
Instead, they tell you all about their exceptional qualities, and it can be very disturbing. After all, their behavior is arrogant and their opinion of themselves can be highly inaccurate.
As you can see, toxic people can be very difficult to interact with. But when you know someone is toxic, you can limit how much you interact with them to protect yourself and your own positive spirit.