Although anal sex is definitely not as taboo as it used to be, women can still feel unsure and even scared about giving it a try.
Even though it can be very pleasurable, it’s still very different from “normal” sex, so there are some things you should know before you spice things up in the bedroom with anal sex.
Why anal sex?
If you’ve never tried this form of love making, you might not see the point.
However, you might find that it’s actually stimulating and satisfying. There are thousands of nerve endings in the anus, and they’re very sensitive to what happens in and around this area of the body.
When done correctly, penetration can feel good – to the point of having an orgasm for some ladies (and even with things like sex machines).
How to prepare for anal sex
Before you try anal sex for the first time, it’s a good idea to prepare your body. But everything we’re going to suggest is pretty straightforward and nothing crazy.
You probably think your butt is, well, dirty. But the truth is, the anus has good bacteria that help to prevent infection. So, if you practice good hygiene, rest assured that it’s already pretty clean down there.
That being said, you can still give that area a quick rinse or even hop in the shower for a wash down.
Eat fiber-rich foods
According to a sex therapist, Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., “most waste is sitting in the lower intestine where a finger, sex toy, or penis is not going to reach.”
So, your rectum should already be cleared, but just to make sure, try to eat fiber-rich foods in the days leading up to anal sex. Foods like lentils, whole grains and cruciferous vegetables are a good way to clear out the digestive tract.
Get a lubricant
While the vagina is self-lubricating, the anus is not.
So, for easier penetration, be sure to lubricate with oil-based lubrication like Coconu Organic Personal Lubricant that's based on coconut oil. But if you and your partner are using condoms, it’s best to use water-based lubricant. That’s because oil-based lubricants can degrade latex condoms.
But lubrication isn’t just about easier sex. It’s also about preventing dryness, rubbing, and potential tears, which can lead to infection.
How to have anal sex
When it comes time to do the deed, it’s important to keep several things in mind to make the most out of this back-door entrance.
Relax the sphincter muscle
The anal sphincter muscle doesn’t relax very easily, and while that’s good for eliminating, it’s not great for anal sex. If it’s tight, it will be difficult, if not impossible for penetration to occur without a lot of pain.
So, concentrate on relaxing the anus. One way to do this is to allow one finger inside and getting used to that feeling. Then, try two fingers, while allowing the muscle to relax slowly. Gentle stimulation around the anus can also allow you to loosen up, too.
When it comes time for penetration, remind your partner to take his time and go slowly. He won’t know how it feels for you, and if he moves too quickly or forcefully, it can be very painful.
Therefore, ask that he gradually penetrate, pausing before moving further. Eventually, he will be able to thrust in a way that is enjoyable for both of you.
Remember to use the lube
No matter how quickly or lengthy the session is, remember to keep everything very well lubricated to keep you safe and comfortable.
Best positions for anal sex
For beginners, there are two good positions for anal sex. The first is spooning, where you both lie on your sides, and your partner enters from behind. This allows him to follow your cues and understand if he’s moving too fast or pushing too hard.
Traditional doggy style, where the woman is on her hands and knees, is another good position for anal sex. But just be sure that you communicate when things feel good, and more importantly, when they don’t.
The best thing about both of these anal sex positions is that they offer opportunities for vaginal, clitoral, and breast stimulation.
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Myths about anal sex
Even though anal sex is becoming a more accepted form of sexual intimacy, there are still myths surrounding it. So, it might help to know that they’re not all true. Here are just a few:
Anal sex is dirty
As we’ve learned, if you’re on top of personal hygiene and eat a balanced, fiber-rich diet, you can have clean sex.
Anal sex can be painful, but only if your sphincter muscle is tight, or you rush into it, or you forget to lubricate. Otherwise, it can be very pleasurable and satisfying.
But one thing’s for sure, if it continues to feel painful, or you just don’t like it, there’s absolutely no reason when you need to keep doing it. It’s not for everybody!
He doesn’t need to wear a condom
Sexually transmitted infections can be spread during anal sex since anal tissues can tear, especially if there isn’t enough lubrication down there.
Therefore, it’s a good idea for your partner to always wear condoms.
Things to keep in mind about anal sex
If you have anal sex, and you decide to transition to vaginal sex, be sure he switches condoms, or washes up. The same goes for fingers or sex toys. That’s because the bacteria within the anus isn’t mean to be inside the vagina.
And if the vaginal bacteria is disrupted and goes out of balance, it can lead to urinary tract infections and yeast infections.
Anal sex after-care tips
When the fun and games are over, it’s important to follow up with some after-care protocol. Here’s what you should do to keep yourself safe, clean and ready for your next love making session.
To prevent rectum bacteria from entering the vagina, be sure to wipe or wash the genital area with either intimate wipes or a gentle shower. As always, remember to wipe front to back and not vice versa!
An important way to keep the vaginal bacteria safe and protected is to urinate as soon as sex is over.
Because anal sex loosens the sphincter muscle, it’s important to exercise the muscles of the pelvic floor to keep this area strong. Practicing kegels is a great way to maintain strength and tone down there.
Besides, they can help to increase sexual pleasure in the future, too.
Observe your stool
Even though anal sex can feel great, that doesn’t mean this part of your body is designed for penetration. This type of sex can damage muscle fibers, tissue and blood vessels. So, if you see a little bleeding following anal sex, it may be normal, according to Jennifer Wider ,M.D., a women’s health expert.
However, if bleeding continues or you observe sores or discharge, contact your primary care provider to assess the situation.
Anal sex might seem scary, especially if you’re a beginner, but with the right preparation, it can be an exciting new way to make love with your partner.