A healthy, romantic relationship should definitely include meaningful sex. It doesn’t have to be all the time and every night, but it goes without saying that sex should have a place in your relationship.
But what happens when sex isn’t just a healthy part of your relationship? When your relationship is only about sex? Here’s how you can tell if that’s what’s happening in your relationship and what you should do.
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Signs that show that your relationship is only about sex
It’s a painful truth to admit that your relationship is only about sex, and it’s something you might not want to admit. Here are some signs to help you identify a sex-centric relationship.
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You only see each other at night, but you don’t sleep over
If your guy always seems to have time for you at night, it could indicate that sex is what he’s after, especially if he leaves after sex instead of staying the night.
Why? Because this suggests that he’s not interested in connecting with you outside of sexual intimacy.
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You only see each other to have sex
When you spend time together, what do you do? If you’re enjoying dates at your favorite places, shopping, or dining out, you’re probably spending quality time outside of the bedroom.
But if you look back on your meet up’s, and see that there’s a consistent pattern of sex, sex, sex and not much else, it’s possible that your relationship is just about sex for him.
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You both stay in instead of heading out and going out on dates
If one or both of you aren’t really interested in the same things, and always agree on sex, this is a sign that your relationship isn’t about you and him. It’s about the sex you guys have together.
And yes, it might be amazing sex, but is this the only thing drawing you two together?
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You stay together just long enough for sex
Does he visit you with just enough time to have sex before he has to leave again?
In short, are you not spending time talking together and doing things together outside of the bedroom? This can suggest that sex is the glue keeping you together.
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You don’t know much about him, his family, friends or job and vice versa
It goes without saying that if you give all your energy to sex, you won’t really focus on anything else, and if that’s the case, you might know very little (or nothing at all) about him, his family and friends, as well as his career.
If you don’t know what makes him tick, what he’s passionate about and how he likes to spend his time, it’s a good idea to ask why.
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Sexting is taking over your messaging
Of course, a flirty, sensual message is a fun way to keep things spicy and exciting, especially when we fall into a comfortable routine with our partners. But if an explicit content has taken over our phone communication, this might be a sign that your relationship is all about sex.
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He avoids you in public places
If a guy is only into you for the sexual pleasure and not for a relationship, he might not be very keen on bumping into you in public. This is especially true if he has several sexual partners or even a girlfriend.
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Or, he’s too physical in public
On the flip side, if a man goes a bit overboard with PDA, it might make you feel attractive, but it can also be an indication that his sex drive is in overdrive.
So, it might be a good idea to not flatter yourself and think his attention is a reflection of your sex-goddess powers. Unfortunately, he may just be looking for someone to have sex with.
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He’s emotionally unavailable
Is he closed off and not interested in your feelings? That may be because emotions require more attention, respect, and acknowledgment, which can be more than he’s interested in dealing with right now.
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Neither of you opens up and gets vulnerable with each other
If you’re both passionate in the bedroom, but then shy everywhere else, it suggests that your relationship is all about sex. But a healthy relationship should be a place where you can become vulnerable, open up and really get to know someone.
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You only have fun when you’re having sex
Similar interested and mutual friends ensure that you both enjoy each other’s company both in and outside of the bedroom. But if you’re only having fun with him when you’re making love this probably means your relationship doesn’t exist with sex.
What you should do if your relationship is only about sex
It can be really heartbreaking to realize that your relationship is just a sexual one. But there are some things you can do improve the situation. Here are just a couple of them:
Remind yourself that you are more than your sexuality
You are so much more than your sexual prowess. If a guy can’t see you for who you are, that doesn’t mean you can’t see yourself for all the wonderful things that you are.
A woman’s worth can be tightly wound up with what she does, instead of who she is. So, if a man only values you for sex, you may start to believe that you’re only worth your sexuality. And that can make you desperate to stay sensual and alluring.
But you are so much more than your sexual prowess. And even if this guy can’t see you for who you are, that doesn’t mean you can’t see yourself for all the wonderful, beautiful things that you are.
Communicate that you want to grow your relationship
You don’t have to be blunt and tell him you want less sex. Instead, you can tell him that you’re interested in growing in your relationship with him and want to get to know him better. This can be with fun dates and spending time with friends.
If he’s open to the suggestions, great! If not, don’t be afraid to end this relationship, especially if you want a more balanced one.
How to avoid a relationship that’s all about sex
At the onset of any romantic relationship, sex can be very exciting and almost magical. And it’s not unusual for it to be the most exciting thing going for both of you. But if, after the weeks pass, you notice those 11 signs we talked about, look at them as red flags warning you that your relationship is heading toward sex and only sex.
You can either communicate with him that you’re interested in more than just the sex, or you can let this relationship fade away so you can make room for a more well-rounded, balanced relationship, in which you feel loved, respected and appreciated for all your wonderful qualities, not just your sexuality.
