So, you’ve spotted a handsome, quiet type. And all you want to do is find out what he’s thinking in that serious mind of his.
As an extroverted woman, he seems mysterious. That’s because introverts process and experience life differently than extroverts do.
But once you learn about your differences, and how to honor and respect them, you can win the heart of an introverted man.
What You Should Know About Introverts
As an extrovert, you feel refreshed and energized being around other people. But introverts find energy and pleasure in being quiet and alone. This is how they recharge their batteries. Too much social interaction drains them and wears them out.
This is very important to keep in mind and knowing about an introvert’s need for downtime can prevent a lot of misunderstandings.
In addition to loving solitude, introverts are thoughtful, careful, cautious and analytical.
It’s not that extroverts can’t be these things, too. It just describes how introverts generally think and behave. It’s much easier for an extrovert to fly by the seat of their pants. But that would be stressful for an introvert, and that’s why they generally don’t move through life spontaneously.
An introverted man might not be interested in an idea, not because it’s a bad idea, but because it’s too fly-by-the-wind and off the cuff for him.
Think of introverts as classical pianists that like to know exactly which notes to play. While extroverts are the jazz musicians who can improv all night long.
Help Your Introverted Man Make the Move
He might be introverted, but that doesn’t mean he’s a sissy or shy. Instead, introverts can have very thorough, intense and loyal personalities.
That’s why it’s not easy for him to waltz up to you and ask you out. He might not express his deep feelings so quickly, but that’s only because it takes more effort for him to process his emotions.
You might be comfortable with a quicker pace, but try not to rush him along. He will appreciate you giving him the space he needs. He doesn’t need this space because he’s not attracted or interested in you. On the contrary, his attraction to you is the very reason why he needs a lot of space.
It might be a challenge, but try to be patient with him and always let him know you’re interested in him, and that he’s welcome to join you. This will boost his confidence in you, and let him know that it’s okay for him to be himself with you.
What an Introverted Man Really Appreciates
Now that you’re familiar with some key characteristics about introverts, let’s talk about how you can make your introverted man feel respected and appreciated for who he is.
Connection for Introverted Men
Introverted guys can seem like a walking contradiction.
They don’t open up quickly but they want to connect deeply. What this means for you, as an extroverted woman, is to be patient and let him connect with you slowly but surely.
Introverts aren’t big fans of small talk or chit chat. They like deep conversations. So, once he knows you’re available and interested in that, he’ll feel comfortable diving in with you.
Even though he might be a private person, that doesn’t mean he wants to keep himself hidden from you.
Try not to interpret his quietness with being stuck up or snobby. In fact, if you ask him specific questions, he’d probably be relieved and take the opportunity to share a part of himself that he doesn’t share with others.
Communication for Introverted Men
Because introverts are deep and thorough thinkers, they take a little longer than others to formulate their thoughts.
So, he might not come up with answers and commentaries immediately. Do your best to create a laid back atmosphere where he’ll feel less pressure. You can do this with relaxed body language and gentle eye contact. Don’t make him feel like he’s on an interview!
Your introverted man is careful with his words and speaks with intention, so try to never cut him off.
Show him that you’re aware of his thoughtfulness by giving him time to express himself. You can also reiterate what he said so he feels heard and understood.
One last thing, introverts are great listeners, but not always great talkers.
This makes writing a better mode of communication some times. Texting is obviously the most common option here, but emails, or even good, old-fashioned letters can be a fun way to get to know him and his thoughts.
The Best Dating and Event Ideas for an Introverted Man
Since introverts don’t have a lot of social energy (and you do!), it’s important to spend time with him in a way that honors both of your personalities.
You may thrive in big parties and large crowds, but that might be the last place where he’d have a good time.
And before we talk about the best types of outings for your introverted guy, remember that he likes to plan things out. So, always make sure you include him in your plan making decisions.
When choosing the perfect venue, look for places that offer structure. For example, dinner parties might be better than karaoke at a crowded bar.
Otherwise, classes are a wonderful way to share time exploring a common interest. You can dance, cook, paint, play sports or even learn languages together.
If there’s a non-profit, charity organization, or an important cause he’s into, take time to learn about it, and volunteer together.
Give an Introverted Man Space
Even if you have a great time together, always remember that he needs peace and quiet to recharge. So, after you’ve had fun together, let him retreat into some downtime by himself.
That might mean he needs to take a break from you, especially because of your extroverted energy. But don’t take it personally! It’s just a difference in your personalities.
An extroverted woman can definitely win over an introverted man. With some awareness and patience, you can really understand the man you love.