Are sex toys foreign territory for you? Maybe you’ve just never thought to use them. Maybe they seem downright weird. Or, maybe fear, shame, and embarrassment hold you back.
Well, no matter what your current take on vibrators is, it’s time to give them a go. With vibrators, you get to feel sexual pleasure on your own, and on your terms. Pretty enticing, huh?
Women don’t need to feel vibrator shame
Women often express feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable and hesitant when it comes to buying their sex toys, according to the social researcher, Rachel Wood.
And maybe that’s because women feel guilty about their own sexuality. No doubt this complicates using vibrators. The only trouble is that it’s hard – if not impossible – to feel sexy and enjoy pleasure when you feel guilty.
Another problem, Wood believes, is that sex shops offer a narrow view of what good sex is, and what kind of sex a woman should have. So, it’s not hard to see why some women avoid sex toys.
First, they feel guilty about their own sexuality, and on top of that, they’re not sure if they’re sexually good enough for sex toys, like vibrators.
So, step number one: Get to know your own body and what you desire and are comfortable with. It’s time to block out the beliefs, opinions, and pressure from the outside, and focus on you.
Luckily, not all women associate guilt and shame with vibrators.
According to an article published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, vibrator use by women is pretty common in the United States.
And as it turns out, that the majority of women in the survey (18 to 60 years old) had high positive beliefs and low negative beliefs about using a vibrator.
What’s more, women who had positive beliefs about vibrators also had higher sexual function scores when it came to things like arousal, satisfaction, and orgasm.
In short, if you feel shame, embarrassment, or guilt when it comes to vibrators, it’s common. But it doesn’t mean these feelings are necessary.
You just might need to come face to face with the limiting beliefs you have about yourself and your sexuality. And once you do, you can be happy just by yourself.
First timer tips for using vibrators
If this is the first time buying a vibrator, Pamela Down of Babeland, recommends starting simple. “If you’re trying vibration for the first time, you’re going to discover if you like it and what other options you can try.”
So, don’t think you need to break the bank. You can start with an inexpensive vibrator and work your way up. And most importantly, don’t feel bad if you’re not crazy about it.
Using a vibrator might not float your boat, and that’s perfectly okay. Every woman is different, and her sexual needs are, too.
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Can you become vibrator dependent?
In order to orgasm, you need clitoral stimulation. And as well all know, you don’t get much of that from penetration sex. Oral sex? Sure. Fingering? Also. But for many women, a vibrator is an amazing way to get aroused and orgasm quickly and every single time.
The only “trouble” is that for some women, they become dependent on using vibrators, and have trouble getting excited and climaxing any other way. Therefore, even if a partner goes down on them, or tries a mix of oral and finger, some women just can’t get there. And it can be frustrating.
However, there’s a good reason why this happens. Certain neurons can actually get trained or accustomed to certain types of repetitive stimulus. And if you’re using a vibrator frequently, the neurons in the clitoris get used to this type of stimulation, and little else can satisfy you as well.
For some women, this isn’t a problem at all. But for others, it can change sexual experiences, both when they’re alone and when they’re with a partner. So, it’s just something to be aware of when you start using vibrators on your own.
Identify your sexual goal
Both men and women place a lot of pressure on the big O – the climax, the grand finale, the orgasm. But an orgasm only lasts seconds. The time it takes to get there – it depends on you, the intensity of the vibrator and how you like to approach self-pleasure. Of course, let's also not forget about a couples vibrator – for mutual enjoyment.
So, before you start using vibrators, ask yourself what you’re going for: pleasure or orgasm? There’s nothing wrong with either one.
But one word of advice is that if you focus on just pleasing yourself, you’ll open many more opportunities to be happy and have fun. If you orgasm, great! If not, you don’t feel like a failure.
And there’s a good chance that if you focus on just making yourself feel sexy hot, your orgasm will be a gazzilion times more satisfying.
4 best vibrators for beginners
This external vibrator works magic on the clitoris. With 16 speeds, it’s easy to use and also easy to clean.
You can step it up a notch with a vibrator that stimulates both your G-spot and inside, too. You get to choose from seven speeds. And it’s recommended to use lubricant to keep things easy and comfortable.
This vibrator is an oldie but a goodie. It doubles as a vibrator and a massage toy, for nights when you just want to be happy by yourself.
While this is a little more on the pricey side, it’s perfect for women who go crazy for external, clitoral stimulation. And it’s designed for more than the clitoris. It also stimulates the vulva, too.
Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate
All that buzzing, vibrating, pressure and rubbing can feel amazing, but it can also irritate the delicate skin of the vaginal area.
So, you might want to use a lubricant to keep things wet and easy. Plus, this prevents injury, irritation, and potential infection. If you're not familiar with the world of lubricants yet, take a look at the choices available at stores like Ella Paradis or Hustler Hollywood.
2 ways to clean vibrators
When the fun is done, remember to clean your vibrator. This can seriously help to prevent bacteria and germs from spreading and causing infections.
Here are two simple ways to clean your vibrator.
Soap and water
Use warm water and a mild soap to gently wash your sex toy. Remember to rinse away soap and leave it to air dry on a clean surface.
Cleansing sprays or wipes
You don’t want to any spray or wipes to clean vibrators. The alcohol and/or bleach can damage vibrators and even disrupt the natural pH levels in the vaginal area. Therefore, look for alcohol-free sprays or glycerin-free wipes to wipe toys clean.
Using vibrators gives women the opportunity to explore their own sexuality and experience pleasure on their own. If they’re new to you, why not give them a try? Who knows, it just might be love at first sight?