Several online polls seem to agree that dry humping is cheating. But then, on the other hand, others would say that it all depends on your relationship, and what you and your partner are comfortable with.
So, is dry humping cheating, or isn’t it? Read on to find out.
Dry humping: what is it?
Dry humping is also known as dry sex or dry intercourse, but outercourse might be a better word for it. That’s because dry sex is all about what’s happening on the outside. There’s no penetration when it comes to dry humping, and there’s no exchange or contact with bodily fluids.
This sexual activity happens when both persons are fully or partially clothed, and the genitals are usually covered. If they’re not, you’ve probably left the realm of outercourse.
Dry humping is essentially rubbing and grinding, and for women, it can be very stimulating and exciting. But for both parties, dry humping is arousing and pleasurable.
Is dry humping a form of sex?
You may have heard about Tiko, a California-based “therapist” who offers what he calls “alternative love therapy” via dry humping.
Others consider dry humping just another way to dance, especially in clubs, where bodies and music mix together in somewhat explicit moves.
But this isn’t a Viennese Waltz we’re talking about, and dry humping isn’t therapeutic.
Instead, it’s considered to be a form of sex. Could you get pregnant from it? No. Are you clothed and covered? Yes.
But sex isn’t only about getting naked and penetration. In our day and age, we’ve come to define sex as so much more than that. That’s why sex can include something like dry humping. It’s a sexually arousing activity that includes rubbing, masturbating, and massaging.
Why dry humping could be considered cheating
Sure, dry humping usually makes us think of dogs playing around with pillows, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can feel betrayed if your partner dry humps someone else.
Why?
Because as Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D. says, “Sexuality is about more than bodies; it’s about feelings and identity, and values, and often, it’s about another human being.”
Dry humping can feel like cheating, not because it’s as explicit as penetration sex, but because it’s explicit sexual behavior performed with someone else.
And this has repercussions for us emotionally and psychologically. It can make people question their worth, their sexual abilities and their overall desirability.
Why dry humping could be sexual but not cheating
Some people would argue that yes, dry humping is definitely sexual, but that doesn’t mean it’s cheating. So, it’s important for you and your partner to define what sexually activities should be exclusive inside your relationship.
If you agree that certain sexual activities should be exclusive to the two of you, that’s a commitment and promise you make to each other within your partnership. And if either of you takes these sexual activities outside of your relationship, then you could label this activity as cheating.
Dry humping is sexual, but if it’s a sexual activity that is not seen as a form of betrayal within your relationship, it’s not cheating.
Sexuality is private, so it’s important to understand your boundaries. This will help you determine whether dry humping is in fact cheating.
Do you hide dry humping?
Some people wouldn’t consider dry humping a form of cheating because, as we’ve said, there’s no penetration involved, the clothing usually stays on, and there are zero risks for pregnancy. And if it happens on the dance floor, it’s just considered dancing.
And all of these might be very good arguments for why dry humping isn’t cheating. But that should probably be on one condition.
You see, when people say that someone is cheating, they usually mean that their partner is having sex or being intimate with someone else.
But what is really more important and more damaging is that they’re doing these things and keeping it from you.
Cheating isn’t so much about your actions. It has more to do with your secrecy and deception surrounding your actions. It’s about violating someone’s trust and being dishonest and sneaky.
So, if you’re okay with your partner watching you dry hump somebody else, on or off the dance floor, then it’s safe to say that neither of you considers dry humping cheating.
And if you can be open and transparent about it, and feel that you’re not betraying the other person’s trust, you’re engaging in cheat-free behavior.
But if you hide it from them, and hope they never find out, then you probably consider dry humping cheating.
What’s more, you know your partner would think so, too.
What to do if you want to try dry sex
Dry humping doesn’t have to be off the table for you. If you want to engage in some dry sex, why not try it with your partner? It’s safe and pleasurable, especially if your own sexual relationship has become predictable and routine.
Dry humping can be something new and fun. Sure, it might harken back to high school days and those shy make out sessions, but it’s still a good way to reignite your intimacy, grow sexually and enjoy safe sex.
It’s an opportunity to learn more about each other’s sexual needs. And if you’re not ready to have sex yet, or are still exploring your sexuality, dry humping can be a good way to start easing into other forms of sex.
The other good thing about dry humping is that it’s a safe option if you want to avoid pregnancy. Plus, it can also a good alternative when you have your period.
As you can see, dry humping is intimate and sexual. If it’s something you wouldn’t want your partner to know about or do with someone else, then it’s safe to say that at least one of you considers it to be a form of cheating.
But within a trusting relationship, it can also be an acceptable way to be together with your partner if you want to give it a try.
