Sex can be flat out amazing. When it’s done right, it’s an intimate way to bond, besides being a fun and mind-blowing experience.
But for all this amazingness to happen, women need to feel valued and important, and not just as a means to an end. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much for men to goof up and turn women off. So, here are 15 things that men can do to kill a woman’s sexual drive.
1. Wearing Socks During Sex
When it comes to socks, just take them off. “Baby, it’s cold outside” isn’t a valid excuse to keep them on during your love making session, no matter what the season. If you’re cold, invest in a cozy blanket or down comforter. This way, you can both enjoy skin to skin contact sans socks.
2. Bad Breath
Kissing someone with dragon breath is a total turn off for men and women alike. So, before love making, brush your teeth and encourage your partner to do the same. No toothbrush handy? Have some breath mints nearby. Bad breath will deter a woman from kissing and that’s no fun for either parties.
3. Smoking Breath
Smoking carries a lot of negative qualities with it, including bad smoking breath. Kissing a smoker is akin to smoking an ash tray, which is quite a turn off for some women. If a guy is planning to make love with his lady, and he knows the taste of cigarettes is unpleasant to her, it would be courteous if he saved it for after the deed.
4. Body Odor
No one is exempt from body odor, especially at the end of the day. But that doesn’t make it any less distasteful. Before sex, take some time to shower and freshen up. It’s hard to resist a man wrapped in a towel who smells yummy.
5. Going Too Fast
Women usually need to connect and feel safe before they get turned on sexually. Men usually need some visual stimulation before they’re good to go.
Unfortunately, this usually means that the guy is a few steps ahead of the women. So, make sure your man knows that going from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds is way too fast, and it makes it hard for you to get into it, too.
6. Not Listening to Your Lady
For women, sex is a very emotional experience and it’s very important for them to feel safe, valued, cherished and heard. So, when a woman says she’s not ready to jump into bed, be patient and wait. If a woman says that she’s not enjoying a certain position, change it. If a woman asks you to stop doing anything, it’s better to stop. Otherwise, a woman will feel used and ignored, and that’s the perfect way to turn her off.
7. Being Arrogant
No one really likes a braggart, so if a guy is full of himself, it’s not very attractive. So, instead of using sex as an opportunity for men to blow their own horns, sex can be a way to adore the woman you’re with and make her feel like she’s your queen. This will make the sex exponentially better for both you.
8. Being Disrespectful
If a man criticizes a woman in any way, there’s very little chance that she’ll feel like she can open up and get vulnerable with him. Think twice before being disrespectful to a woman about her body weight, body shape, her makeup, her outfit, her thoughts, ideas and feelings. By being unkind and critical, she’ll feel hurt, betrayed and turned off in no time.
9. Not Being Confident Enough in Bed
There’s no doubt that sex is a two-way street, but women love to see their men taking initiative and making passionate love with them. If a man is scared to break from the usual routine or try new things; or, if a man is timid and insecure in bed, a woman won’t feel as aroused or excited. Can you blame her?
10. Skipping the Foreplay
By now, it’s pretty clear that women usually need a little more time before they feel aroused and sassy. And that’s why foreplay is so important to her. Even if a man doesn’t need it as much to get into the mood, be patient and help your lady catch up with you. It’s all about being a true gentleman.
11. Being Too Aggressive or Forceful
We’ve said that women like men to be confident, but don’t confuse that with being aggressive and forceful. Unless women state otherwise, they like to feel loved and cherished during sex, not like a subordinate slave.
Being physically rough can make a woman feel threatened and make her close up, literally and figuratively. Similarly, commanding her or bossing her around during love making is not very attractive.
12. Not Connecting After Sex
Men may not need as much emotional bonding as women after sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s fine for a man to pack up and run off once he’s finished. This can make a woman feel unimportant, used and taken advantage of. Instead, stay a while, cuddle, say thank you, talk about what you just shared together, or finally smoke that cigarette you avoided for her sake.
13. Having Sex to Climax and Then, Leave Her Hanging
Everyone’s sex life is different, and depending on your relationship, the man or woman might come first. Whatever the case, when a man has sex only to reach his climax, while ignoring hers, makes a woman feel disconnected and used. On the other hand, when a man takes time to help a woman come, too, it shows that he’s not selfish and that he’s interested in her pleasure as much as in his own.
14. Not Showing Any Signs of Life
Not everyone expresses their pleasure in the same way. But it helps if men show that they are enjoying it in their own way. You don’t have to imitate movies or porn. That’s all unrealistic and staged. Instead, be yourself and bring yourself into the love making. When a man can communicate during sex, it helps a woman get excited and stay excited.
15. Pulling a Woman’s Head or Her Hair
This is always a big “No!” It’s aggressive and disrespectful, not to mention, flat out painful. So, unless a woman has clearly expressed that she enjoys that sort of thing, leave her tresses alone, except if you want to stroke and gentle comb her hair. Otherwise, don’t make her feel like she’s dealing with an unruly toddler.
Together, men and women can create something totally fabulous when they have sex. By avoiding these 15 turn offs, men can help their leading ladies to feel loved, special and valued from start to finish.